Posts

Two Weddings and a Funeral

There is something prophetic about the movie title “Four Weddings and a Funeral.” In real life, for most of us, it could be one, two, or three occasions. The number is not the import, the import is that’s roughly how often we meet people who once mattered to us. Old family friends, relations one generation up, neighbours from the homes we grew up in — all exist somewhere in our phones, remembered but unreached. We know their birthdays because Facebook reminds us, and we acknowledge them ‘enthusiastically'   with a cheerful emoji, a quick wish, a sense of obligation fulfilled. We even find ourselves in their cities sometimes — for work, for weddings, or for a holiday — but rarely do we think of meeting. “Next time,” we tell ourselves, comforted by the thought that their faces are just a click away. The photograph on our feed becomes proof that the relationship is still alive. Once upon a time, we didn’t need reasons to meet. People simply dropped in. Someone would be passing throug...

WhatsApp and the Art of Social Engineering

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There was a time when opinion was formed in public spaces. The village square, the tea shop, the office water-cooler, or the pubs (pub is actually a short form for ‘public house’)—these were places where ideas were exchanged, debated, often loudly. Today, our new square is a green-and-white screen. WhatsApp has become the digital equivalent of the chowk, but with one key difference: it is quieter, more efficient, and infinitely more manipulative. In its early years, WhatsApp was just an SMS that didn’t cost money. We sent festival greetings, birthday wishes, and bad jokes accompanied by even worse clipart. But somewhere along the way, it became more than a messenger — it became a mechanism. A space where information was not just shared, but shaped. Consider the resident WhatsApp group — an invention that has redefined the way we live together. It is part bulletin board, part kangaroo court, part stand-up comedy stage. A lost slipper gets the same urgency as a missing child. A dog-bite ...

The New Currency of “Busy”

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Ask someone if they’re coming for dinner next Friday and you’ll rarely hear a simple “yes” or “no.” What you’ll get instead is a polite reply: “Let’s see… I’ll try.” Or maybe, a friend asks your confirmation to a travel couple of months later and in all probability you’d say,   “November is still far off, I’m not sure how I’ll be placed.” (At least that is what I did). Nowadays, we have become culturally allergic to certainty. The RSVP has been replaced by the NSVP: Not Sure, Will Verify and Possibly Decline. This hesitation is less about logistics and more about posture. To say “yes” is to admit you’re available. To say “no” is to close the door too early. The safest and most diplomatic answer is maybe . It signals both importance and possibility. Being busy has become the new way of being important. “Crazy day” is no longer a complaint—it’s a humblebrag. ‘Rain check’ is a phrase that has got into the daily lexicon in India. Busyness is not just a state; it’s a status. In mythol...

Sapiens, Desi-style

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The other morning, my wife was looking out of the window as the school bus pulled away. A few children, as usual, had missed it. Casually, she remarked: “Have you noticed? The ones who are mostly on time are South Indians, and the ones who aren’t tend to be North Indians.” I thought to myself, it isn’t about the kids, it is about rice and wheat, reflecting on what I read longtime back in Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind.   Yuval Noah Harari has a way of making us see the invisible. In Sapiens, Harari writes about the difference between rice and wheat civilisations. Rice, he points out, is a demanding crop. It needs constant tending, precise water control, endless labor. Wheat, on the other hand, grows with less fuss. Plant it, pray for rain, and wait. From this difference, he says, emerge two distinct work ethics — rice societies become disciplined, cooperative, and patient; wheat societies lean toward individualism, bursts of energy, and risk-taking. One needn’t need to trave...

The Seasoning We Stopped Doing

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I heard the word “seasoning” on a cooking show the other day and realised we almost never use it outside the kitchen anymore. It used to be a wider verb. A new cricket bat had to be seasoned— Linseed oiled, wrapped, knocked for hours until it felt right in the hands. As an aside, the bats used to highlight if they were with ‘fish-cover’ which for a long time I thought was a bat wrapped in fish-skin..until years later I realised, it was a kind of plastic wrap on the blade of the bat. I remember my friends who kept reminding me, sitting behind their new two-wheeler, while I rode - to keep the speeds low and avoid sudden bursts. I think it too was called tuning the engine and some called it seasoning period till its first service. Seasoning was not garnish. It was patience made practical. There were other versions. New leather school shoes needed a few careful, blistered days before they softened and became yours. I remember having a fountain pen (For those from Hyderabad will remember th...

Coffee, Tea, and I

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Coincidentally, I’ve been coming across references to tea and coffee over the past few weeks. An article on the Matcha craze in Japan. The sudden fall in coffee prices in India due to surplus production in Brazil (no, I’m not into commodities trading—I have a client who owns a coffee estate and exports, so I keep a Google alert on coffee). And during a quick trip to Hyderabad—famous for its Irani chai and Osmania biscuits—I found myself in a group where everyone ordered morning coffee except one person, who asked for tea. These little moments stirred up a range of thoughts about these two beverages. Some unfiltered free flowing stuff. I’d like to start by saying that I love both my cuppas—coffee and tea. If it is coffee then preferably filter coffee. We all know the regional split. In India, coffee is preferred in the South, while tea rules the North and most of the rest of the country. In North Indian homes, it’s always tea—sweet, milky, and boiling over with routine. In the South, co...

The Signing Off of Signatures

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I just got my DSC (Digital Signature Certificate) renewed the other day, and it struck me with increasing use of DSC, the last option of the actual signing of the signature is vanishing. It took me back to when I was 15, sitting in the classroom, scribbling endlessly in the pages of my rough book—practicing my signature before the board exams. Back then, our teachers told us with great solemnity, “This is your identity. It can never change.” I tried loops, underlines, bold initials, even dramatic flourishes. My rough book was a battlefield of squiggles, each one asking, Is this me? An uncle - family friend, who fancied himself amongst other things, a graphologist, made it worse by explaining how a signature revealed personality—slanting upwards meant ambition, a straight line meant stability, clarity, etc. I wanted a signature I’d never get wrong, because it wasn’t just a mark. It was me on paper. Giving your signature felt like a rite of passage. Parents would hand you a cheque to wi...